


Happy Anniversary

by Karlarado



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anniversary, Character Death, Destiel - Freeform, Gen, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Post S7, but hey i warned you, its slightly sad, ok maybe quite sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 10:40:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karlarado/pseuds/Karlarado
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas' anniversary is a lot more somber than it should be, and Dean just can't figure out what to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Anniversary – Motion City Soundtrack
> 
> Cause I won't be waking up, my dear  
> Time has run its course  
> Happy anniversary

Five years ago we met. With your stupid backwards tie and your overwhelming grace you stormed into my life. Well, you crashed into my life really. I’m sorry I shot at you, but in my defense I had no idea…alright just, never mind that. God knows how long it’s been since you raised me from perdition. I like to think you loved me right there on the spot, right when you left your mark on my shoulder forever.  
I’d like to ask you if that’s true, especially today on our anniversary. I’d give anything to ask you that in person. 

You died in purgatory, Cas. I watched you sacrifice yourself up so that I could make it through the portal alive. You caused a distraction. You led those leviathan away from me…and you died. 

So this, this is me, praying to you wherever you are. _Fuck_ , Cas, I don’t even know what _happens_ to someone who dies in purgatory. You probably can’t even hear a damn word of this. I just...

I hope that…

I _can't_ …Oh God I can’t breathe…

 

…

 

I just, I just want to wish you a happy anniversary. I just want everything to be like it is for everyone else; to show up to your door with flowers and chocolate. I don’t care how stupid and cliché it is – I’d do it a thousand times if it meant having you back. I can’t go on everyday pretending it’s all alright without you. 

I want to wish you a happy anniversary and hold you close like other people; to get mocked by Sammy and Kevin and everyone we know. I’d lose all my dignity if it meant holding you again.

I want to wish you a happy anniversary and watch as you tilt your head in confusion; to have to explain my feelings to you and make you understand all of these human emotions. I’d do anything if it meant I could talk to you again.

I know I’ll be waking up again in the morning to an empty bed and a case to solve, but today I have to get all of this off of my chest. Today is supposed to be a day of you and me. So, today I ate a burger and thought of you. Today I did not watch any porn. (Although I did think about how I could show you a way better time than that pizza man.)

But mostly, I watched the bees in the park; thought about how much you loved them. _Almost_ as much as you loved me, I hope. Sammy and I stared at them for hours. We mostly talked about how in the world you could possibly see so much in them. They’re cool and all, but they’re tiny buzzing little insects, Cas, I seriously don’t understan- fuck I’m so bad at this…

And now I’m standing over the spot where we buried your trench coat. Talking – or, praying? God you have no idea how lost I am without you, buddy. I hope you can hear me, and I hope you know that you’re still loved.

I just want to wish you a happy anniversary. 

And I don’t want you to be dead.

**Author's Note:**

> Sad bees, am I right?  
> Find me at karlarado.tumblr.com


End file.
